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Spam and the other cats at website designer Darcy Dupres' house are frantic with worry. Darcy walked out the door two (missed) wet meals ago and didn't return or send anyone else to look after her beloved furry friends. The other cats think that she has abandoned them, but her office cat and (unbeknownst to her) protégé, Spam, suspects darker forces are at work.

Darcy's last project was helping a suspicious character who called himself Marcel de Montreal with a dating website for vampires and the women who dig them. Darcy thought Marcel was playing and besides, he paid her a lot of kitty litter to design the site.

But before she can finish, the self-proclaimed vampire announces that he is coming to visit, and Darcy disappears. That and the-duh-black billowy figure with the white face and red eyes peering through the window seem like a dead giveaway to Spam.

Using the computer knowledge he learned at his human's side, Spam escapes to the   world beyond his home to find Darcy and save his family. When the other cats are rounded up and hauled to the shelter, Spam's only allies seem to be a hungry raccoon, some friendly deer, observant otters and the fact that Marcel happens to be allergic to cats.  

DRASTIC DRAGON OF DRACO, TEXAS

Determined to become an author of western penny dreadful novels like her idol, Ned Buntline, a young San Francisco newspaper editor christens herself Valentine Lovelace (after a floozie acquaintance of her father's) and heads east for the Wild West.

She finds it in spades in the Texas Big Bend when she is kidnapped from a mule train by Comanches and ends up the guest of a ruthless comanchero, a sort of wild west warlord, after the Comanches are distracted by a. . .dragon?

Fort Draco, as the comanchero fort is known, is as full of intrigue and nighttime carryings-on as a modern day romantic novel, but Frank Drake, the owner, is no hero. If Valentine wants to save herself and the less-guilty if not entirely innocent folks who live there, she must defeat heat stroke, gunslingers, a couple of fake rainmakers and their camel, hostile Indians, the voice haunting her dreams (not in a good way) and a dragon who not only is gobbling all the livestock and transportation in the area but is guarding the only water hole in fifty miles of drought-ridden desert.   And she must do it all while taking good notes, of course.

THE GOLDCAMP VAMPIRE

V. LOVELACE'S GUIDE TO THE WILD WEST VOL. 2

by Elizabeth Ann Scarborough

Pelagia Harper, aka Valentine Lovelace, published her memoirs of her time in Draco Texas and became an established writer--at least in her own mind. But when her father dies and her stepmother steals her royalties, she finds herself destitute. Also haunted. The ghost of her papa keeps popping up everywhere. When her father's old flame, Sasha Devine, offers her a way out of her poverty, Pelagia jumps on it before she knows what's involved. In 1897, the two ladies must travel North to the Klondike (the Wild West is a relative term as far as V. Lovelace is concerned) escorting the coffin of a man said to be Lost-Cause Lawson, a prospector.

It turns out the man beneath the coffin lid is not as dead as he was supposed to be and somehow, Pelagia ends up being accused of murdering a Mountie. Apparently the sensible solution to that is to fake her own suicide. The upshot is that when she finally does arrive in Dawson City with Sasha, she is obliged to take employment as a dance hall girl and a flamenco dancer (Corazon, the Belle of Barcelone). Her boss seems nice though. Very sociable, especially with all of his new female employees. It isn't long before Pelagia learns that Vasily Vladovitch Bledinoff is giving the biting cold some competition. It isn't until her friend Captain Lomax receives a new book from England, written by a fellow named Bram Stoker, that she begins to get a clue what exactly is going on with the mode for black velvet neck bands the girls are all sporting. Then there's all of those really smart wolves, the threat of starvation and disease, and   other strange and unusual wildlife.

This book is about what life was like for a female artiste in Dawson City as it was during the Gold Rush--when everyone was there to strike it rich except for the vampires, who were there for the night life.

The Djinn Decanted:

By his genie's standards, Aman Akbar was a pervert. He was not content to marry his cousin, the beauteous Hyaganoosh, as custom demanded. Instead he chose three ugly foreign wives--a pale skinned barbarian Rasa, a sharp-tongued Chinese acrobat, Lady Aster, and the tall ebony skinned 100th daughter of the Great Elephant, Amollia. Just about the time the women were sorting out the whole polygamy thing and dealing with their new mother-in-law, Um Aman, Aman Akbar lost control of the genie and got turned into a white ass (it happens a lot in the Arabian Nights) at the wish of none other than Hyaganoosh. What's a foreign wife to do? The three women and Aman Akbar's mother have no choice but to seek a way to undo the spell and restore the fellow to his former shape and state but along the way they have some hair raising adventures involving monkeys, shape shifters called peris, the dangerous divs who make the djinn look jolly, and a rather nice elephant.

Christening Quest

Unicorn Creed

In Song of Sorcery, Book 1 of Songs from the Seashell Archives, hearthwitch Maggie Brown met minstrel Colin Songsmith and a unicorn named Moonshine while saving both her sister and the kingdom. All in a quest's work for a girl who can magically do anything she can convince her power is housework. To reward Maggie, the king makes her a princess, and therefore a good catch for the local noble bachelors. Only problem is, she doesn't want to get married. She wants to be with Moonshine, whose Unicorn Creed, as he understands it, forbids him to consort with anyone except a chaste maiden. It's rather a touchy situation, and so Princess Maggie abandons her crown and with Moonshine, she and Colin set out to see if they can find a loophole in Moonshine's creed. Of course, in the process they have to try to save the land of Argonia again, this time from a were-man, a revolutionary nymph, a town's worth of zombies, an ice worm and an evil wizard.

"Gentle humor, deft plotting and a fine light-handed prose style, all combine to make THE UNICORN CREED a pure delight." --New York Daily News

Bronwyn's Bane

Sleeping Beauty had it easy. Her curse only made her take a nap when she turned 16. As if it wasn't bad enough already that because of her frost giant heritage from her father the king's side of the family she was 6 feet tall when she was only 12 years old, poor Princess Bronwyn (the Bold) of Argonia was cursed at birth to tell nothing but lies. With her father away at war and her mother heavily pregnant, Bronwyn is even more in the way than usual, so she gets packed off to Wormroost, her aunt's place in the glaciers, and en route she meets her musician/magician cousin Carole , a not-so-brave gypsy lad, and a princess-turned-swan. The lot of them encounter monsters, sorcerers, sea serpents, mercenary mages and sirens--many of whom are related to them. Without quite intending to, they embark on a quest to end the war, heal a battle-ravaged land, end a ban on magic and lift Bronwyn's Bane.

L. Sprague de Camp said, "I found BRONWYN'S BANE delightful reading. I wish I had her fertility of imagination in thinking up amusing twists, turns and business of plot."

Picking the Ballad's Bones

The ancient ballads of England, Scotland and Ireland are great stories to visit but nobody in their right mind would want to live there. There's a high body count for every ballad and a happy ending usually involves boy meets girl and they end up sharing a grave. The musicians who go to retrieve the songs, with the help of the magic banjo, Lazarus, know this, but the fact is, the songs also contain a great deal of magic useful in defeating the devils who are out to dehumanize humanity by stealing the music.   The Queen of the Fairies, aka the Debauchery Demon, Torchy Burns, makes them a deal they can't refuse and the reluctant heroes find themselves thrust into the lives and deaths of   ballad people they know are going to end badly. It's enough to make a picker take up accounting!

This Trilogy as e-books and print on demand boasts stunning covers by artist/musician Karen Gillmore. Collect all 3 ! ;->

Strum Again

What started in the States ends in the States. The song-saving musicians are back home, with heads and hands full of songs they saved with the help of the Phantom Banjo, Lazarus. The soul-destroying devils haven't given up on killing off the music though, along with everything else that's maybe a little fun or keeps people human and sane.   Even the debauchery devil, AKA Torchy Burns, AKA Lulubelle Baker (of Lulubelle Baker's Petroleum Puncher's Palace in west Texas) AKA Lady Luck AKA, believe it or not, the Queen of Faerie, has fallen on hard times. Her fellow devils are willing to see her demoted to the lower levels of hell, where a girl can't even get a decent mani-pedi. Her only hope is to convince one of the musicians--that would be Willie MacKai--to become her human sacrifice tithe to hell so she can get back her faerie kingdom. Once the magic banjo self-destructs, Willie decides to cooperate with Torchy. But the phone-in ghost of Sam Hawthorne and the music aren't done with Willie yet, though it takes a ghost train full of cowboy poets and all of his friends to save him.

THE LADY IN THE LOCH

When a woman's bones are found in the icy dregs of the noxious Nor' Loch, newly appointed sheriff of Edinburgh, Walter Scott, is called upon. Are these the remains of a drowned witch or religious heretic, or are they perhaps linked to something more recent and sinister? For although Edinburgh is known to be the center of literature, science, and medicine, it is also the haunt of body snatchers who prey upon the living and the dead alike, selling their victims for study by the student physicians at the medical school.

When a band of Travelling People is forced to winter near the city, two young women are taken, one from her bed while she sleeps near her family. Justice from the settled people is rarely accorded to gypsies and the Travellers fear they will be murdered one by one by the ghouls stalking their people.

A young gypsy named Midge Margret is sure that Scott will care.   He befriended her family before and once more he promises to help find the murderer who prowls the snowy forest in a black coach.

When a patchwork woman with supernatural strength begins hunting the streets as well, Scott and Midge Margret know the crimes are rooted in bloody dark magic. In order to catch the killer, the butchered victims themselves must testify.

By Nebula Award winning author Elizabeth Ann Scarborough.

Publisher's Weekly says, "Skillfully cross-stitching history, mystery and old-time urban legend. . .tension mounts steadily. . .an artful work."

NOTHING SACRED

In a world where unemployment is obliterated by putting all jobless people in the military to maintain the endless ongoing warfare, Warrant Officer Viveka Vanachek finds herself in a weirder place yet. Captured, raped, and interrogated she is finally exiled to a remote snow-bound prison camp where she is placed in solitary confinement. It seems like the end of the world when she also becomes too sick to eat and starts seeing ghosts and hearing mysterious chanting within the noises of the camp. But her dreams tell her there is more to her prison than there seems to be and soon her delusions and reality start trading places.

LAST REFUGE

In NOTHING SACRED, Elizabeth Ann Scarborough took a detour from her humorous classic and contemporary fantasies to write her "obligatory science fiction writer's end-of-the-world book." The bad news is the world has ended. The good news is LAST REFUGE is the sequel.

Why does the end of the world seem so much more dire than the end of our own lives, since, according to modern non-theology based theory, we won't know the difference one way or the other. Using the Tibetan Buddhist background of NOTHING SACRED, the answer to that was, if the Buddhists are right, when the end of the world comes not only will our own present lives be ended, but there will be no life forms left into which we may reincarnate.

The children of Kalapa compound, safe from the war and the aftermath as it is felt in most of the world, discover that the problems work in reverse in Shambala. Babies are born there at a deliberately amazing rate but no one dies within the borders. Consequently, in time, there are no unembodied spirits in Shambala left to inhabit the babies, cursing the poor children with a spiritual birth defect.

Heir to the duties of Ama-La, young Chime Cincinnati, as the guide to Shambala

, cannot rest until she leaves the safety of the compound to lead refugees to it. She is helped in this by Mike,   a young man who has always been like an older brother to her.

These two face all of the standard fantasy characters, but with a Tibetan twist--there is an evil wizard who is king of his own compound, a hideously evil demon who is enough to give anyone nightmares, a yeti, an American princess, and far too many ghosts, not to mention Mu Mao the magnificent, a reincarnated wise man who was good enough to finally be allowed to ascend to life as a cat.

THE GODMOTHER'S APPRENTICE

Reviews:

"SIMPLY ENCHANTING." Publisher's Weekly

"CLEAR AND ENTERTAINING. . . LOTS OF FUN." Locus

" CHARMING. . .Scarborough mixes folklore, adventure, atmosphere, psychology, and whimsy into a thoroughly absorbing plot." Booklist

"AN ENCHANTING BOOK." Affaire de Coeur

" Dear Rosie,

Being an apprentice fairy godmother is complicated. Not only do I have to go out and find good deeds to do, but for a sidekick I have that hit man that Felicity changed into a toad. I wanted to take the cat but she seems to have had a big funeral to attend. Felicity isn't around much. She keeps disappearing through a door in the guestroom that opens on the side of a hill. The swimming pool is weird too, and I could have sworn I saw someone dancing on the bottom. I am enjoying riding the flying horse and helping a boy who plays squeezebox and talks to swans though, so things are--you should pardon the expression--looking up."

Sno Quantrill's trip to Ireland is not just any summer vacation. It's the adventure of a lifetime.

THE GODMOTHER'S WEB

"Characterization, pacing, and folkloric expertise are all up to the series' high standards, so Godmother-followers and others should greet this book joyfully."-- Booklist

Cindy Ellis knows about fairy godmothers.   Her almost-stepdaughter is studying to be one and she is a close personal friend of Felicity Fortune, an Irish godmother. But she didn't suspect when she picks up Grandma Webster that the elderly, seemingly lost American Indian woman in traditional dress was a magical godmother too. When a self-serving skinwalker/witch inflames tensions between neighbors and pits sisters against each other in the best fairy tale fashion, Grandma enlists Cindy's help, along with that of a Navajo doctor, a Hopi rancher, and an unlikely champion, a dude who is related to coyotes and dreams of a home shopping network empire. Together they must defeat the evil that is threatening to destroy their world forever.  

CHANNELING CLEOPATRA

Leda Hubbard, a forensic pathologist, gets the job of her dreams when an old school friend hires her to collect and authenticate the DNA of the famous Cleopatra. It's all great fun for Leda until, during a massive disaster, her colorful dad, the dig's security specialist, is killed by a group trying to hijack the precious material for a "blend," a process in which the queen's DNA is used to import her memories, personality, and character traits to a new host. They screw up, however, and get Leda's dad's DNA instead. To keep the queen from going to the murderers, Leda blends with Cleopatra herself, learning a lot more about Egypt than she ever wanted to know.

" A bright, sometimes humorous, often dark, but always innovative speculative fiction. . . Elizabeth Ann Scarborough is always a treat to read but with this novel, she takes readers where nobody has gone before." BookBrowser

CLEOPATRA 7.2

Great Professional Reviews:

" A science fiction thriller that feels like a futuristic James Bond. . .The idea of two minds inhabiting one body is a fascinating premise. The way they blend together and respect each other's personality makes Elizabeth Ann Scarborough's latest work a fascinating, often humorous speculative fiction." Midwest Book Review

"Scattered throughout the narrative, Scarborough provides amusing asides from the viewpoints of the Cleopatras. The modern day is filled with marvels from the viewpoints of the ancient queens, and Scarborough does a marvelous job of giving the world we take for granted a new angle of understanding. . .[She] has done a fabulous job of researching the past, and through the observations of the two Cleos paints a heartrending picture of loss and yet at the same time presents awe-inspiring descriptions of wonders that have managed, despite war, neglect, and outright vandalism, to survive for millennia to the modern day." SF Revu

"[An] exciting speculative thriller. . . Scarborough deftly weaves her suspenseful web and then untangles the threads with her clear and concise prose, preventing a plot   with dual-identity characters from spinning out of control. The DNA-blending concept is fascinating. . . retains the breathless action, frenetic pacing, and dry wit, [of its predecessor] with homages to Elizabeth Peters and Indiana Jones, and will appeal to a wide audience."